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发信人: ruobei (飘雪*.*恍若隔世), 信区: AdvancedEdu
标  题: 如何面对压力和挑战--致海外学子(转载)
发信站: BBS 水木清华站 (Fri Nov 14 15:29:12 1997)

＞ >Dear Brown Chinese Students/Scholars:
  > >        After reading the condolence message from Harvard CSSA regarding
  > >the death of a new Chinese student in Computer Science, I feel very
  > >sad and disturbed in my heart. Why did he do this? That's a question
  > >I could not understand.
  > >        I am sure that when GE Hailei was preparing his trip to Harvard,
  > >he was in a great delight, expectation, as well as ambition. But now he
  > >lost everything, he also left his family and friends in shock and under
  > >deep harrow. Personally I think committing suicide is an indication of
  > >psychological weakness and irresponsibility.
  > >        When I make a retrospect about my first year in US, I could
  > >still see clearly the hardship and bitterness. I once lived at a place
  > >about one and half miles away from campus, it was HARD for traveling
  > >back and forth during the winter. I also had to take three courses,
  > >fulfill my TA duty, besides, I had to spend a lot of time working in
  > >the lab. Sometimes when I saw cars roaring by me when I was on my
  > >shopping way home, trudging on slush, carrying heavy bags, I had an
  > >upset feeling of being deserted by this beautiful country. Yet I tried
  > >to view all these as challenges, as precious chances to test my
  > >optimism and fortitude. Even at that time, what's on my mind was my
  > >faith about my future, my belief that life has just started for a
  > >young man like me. I believe that by positive thinking, you can
  > >greatly mitigate your sufferings.
  > >        GE Hailei's tragedy also reminds me of the weaknesses of
  > >our educational system in China. Actually we spent so much time on
  > >learning insipid political doctrines in a drowsing way. But we
  > >NEGLECTED the quite necessary trainings about how to deal with
  > >ourselves, how to understand and strengthen ourselves psychologically.
  > >As you must have already found out that in this country, there are
  > >regular training sessions (in the form of panel discussion/seminar/
  > >practice) which teach you how to cope with daily pressure as well
  > >as depression. At Brown University, there are also special offices
  > >serving this purpose, like the Brown Psychological Services. The
  > >experts there teach you how to handle your daily pressure, how to
  > >identify whether you are in real depression or not, if so what's the
  > >degree of your depression and how to cope with it, etc. I always
  > >think that a person's psyche needs exercise/training, as his/her
  > >body does. But unfortunately this is largely ignored in China.
  > >        I would like to offer several hints about how to handle
  > >pressure. (1) Take regular exercises, exercises can refill your
  > >vigor, make you healthier, also adjust and rejuvenate your mental
  > >mood before you are even aware of this. Going to exercise also
  > >provides you a chance to make more friends.  (2) If you do not
  > >have many friends, you should reach out and make/grab more, going
  > >to various kinds of parties, attending various types of activities.
  > >(3) When you are in trouble or under pressure, talk to your good
  > >friends. Psychologists believe that by speaking out what's troubling
  > >him/her, he/she feels less suffering and more relieved. Especially
  > >when you find that your friends are also suffering from the same
  > >thing, you would feel much better. You would tell yourself "So,
  > >I am not the only one!".
  > >        Lastly, I'd like to make a proposition here. Can we (people
  > >who came here earlier and have cars) kindly offer to take the new
  > >students around you to do some shopping on a regular basis? I am
  > >sure that is a very concrete and practical thing to do to show our
  > >care and help to our new Brown Chinese students. If you are willing
  > >to do so but could not find new students, you can let me know and
  > >I'll try to find you two or three. If you are already doing so, I
  > >think you are doing a GREAT thing. I was once offered great help
  > >from a Christian student at Brown, when I asked him what I could
  > >do for him as a return, he said "help people who are in need is a
  > >way to convey your gratitude to the God". Although I am not a
  > >Christian, his words always put me under pondering on how to live
  > >in a community. Giving and taking are not two separated things,
  > >they are intertwined together.
  > >        Thank you for spending the time reading my e-mail and
  > >please offer your suggestions to our BRUCSS-L about how we could
  > >better help our new students and eventually help ourselves, about
  > >how we can together make our CSSA community a more pleasurable
  > >one to live in.
  > >
  > >Sincerely your,
  > >ZHOU, Hailong
--
最美的是飘飘撒撒满天飞雪，把我每一颗滚烫的泪凝成冰，然后那样一点一点滑下
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